I like to call this afternoon “messy game gone wrong.” It seemed like a good idea at the time. You put flour in a tin pan and let the little ones make tracks with cars and toys. This worked for about two minutes until the one year old decided to dump all his flour out onto the floor. The three year old thought this was hilarious and began tossing fist fulls of powder. All I can say is at least I kept it contained to the kitchen.
This is just one of a series of questionable sleep-deprived mommy decisions I made today. But all worth the giggles and squeals of delight from my babies. They seemed to relish in the freedom of making a big ole mess! One splashy bath and Disney film later; the floor was clean again and dinner nearly finished.
What’s life without a bit of mess? A bit of fun? I have to set so many boundaries for my toddlers that these moments are refreshing. My prayer tonight is that we make more of these memories. I want to delight in Ivy and Albert instead of just raising them. They give me so much joy. My goal tomorrow is to laugh with them even more.
On Thursday morning I forgot to put the garbage bin out. On Friday morning I put face wash on my tooth brush. On Saturday morning I put my shirt on backwards. This Sunday morning I put my daughter’s leggings on before the pull up diaper. This is me before coffee. This is a couple years without normal sleep. This is mom life.
Ivy Grace is 18 months old. This is hard to believe! She has grown so much and the time has gone by so fast. Now we are expecting our second little bundle. Despite the growing physical evidence, it doesn’t seem real sometimes. This pregnancy is different. I don’t have time to focus on it like I did before. Ivy keeps me hopping. I feel so blessed and privileged that our little family is growing. At the same time, I hope I can be enough for two babies at once. As we still struggle to get Ivy to sleep through the night, I can’t help but think what am I going to do with a newborn?! How I am going to night feed and settle a toddler climbing out of bed running to our room?! Though we are enjoying parenthood, the nights can seem long and dark at times. Sleep deprivation combined with hormones have done a number on me.
Caught in the snow.
Philippians 4:13 AMP- “I have strength for all things through Christ who empowers me. I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me. I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency.”
Sometimes I don’t feel very strong. Most times I don’t feel very strong. I know in my heart this verse is true. It doesn’t always feel true. It doesn’t feel like I can be up all hours and then gracious as Ivy refuses to nap meaning no sleep again for me. Smiling and entertaining a toddler through tears is not ideal. But I am learning to be led by the Holy Spirit instead of my ever-changing emotions. It is a process and a daily challenge.
The above verse is the first one I memorized this year as part of the Siesta Scripture Memory Team 2017 with Beth Moore and Living Proof ministries. This online challenge is really sweet to me as I participated in 2015 when I was expecting Ivy. It seems fitting to do it again during this pregnancy. It must be God-designed. He knows how much I need Him. I have so much love in my heart for my husband and babies, but I am not physically able to do what I need to do without God. The dark days happen when I get caught up in my feelings and negative thoughts. When I get so caught up in the circumstances that I forget to pray, forget to recite my verses, forget that I don’t have to do this on my own, that is when I really struggle. Even still I know God is there nudging me to come to Him. And when I do cry out to God, He is faithful. Always. The more I work on my verses, the more the Word comes to mind just in time.
Daddy/daughter cuddles!
I know I’m not the only one. Maybe you are a parent like me juggling family life or caring for an aging parent or dealing with a stressful job. Maybe you are dealing with a loss. Maybe you are kept up at night by the evening news. Whatever it is you are going through, please, know that you can have strength for today. You can have strength for all things through Christ. You only need to ask.
Counting Sheep... 